Da Bears!

I’M BACK!!!
I had a great gig last Wednesday night playing for the Bears - big
hairy men - only gay.
I made some money too.
Wow!
They love me! They really, really love me!

My opening joke to the packed room full of big 250 pounders in tank
tops and shorts was that I had died and gone to heaven. They called
back, “Yeh, that’s the way we feel too!”
“Yeah! Wild Jane!” someone yelled from the back. “We love Wild Jane!”

Opening songs: “I Could Write a Book”, “Lover Man”
My fantasy has always been Goldilocks and the Three Bears. This
one’s too hard, this one’s too soft, this one is just right! Hmmm -
yummy! One guy in the audience called out that his fantasy was just
“Three Bears.”

Of course, in rating Bears no one could be under a seven… more
like an eight…. but you know the saying …size isn’t everything!
HA! ha ha

You know I was in my element when I belted out “Standing on the
Corner”. They all joined in “watching all the guys, watching all the
guys, watching all they guys….. go “bi” (Don’t I wish?…. another
joke by/bye/bi)

I also did “Love for Sale”, “All that Jazz”, “Body and Soul”, “Round
Midnight” and at least 20 other standards, blues, and ballads. I had
a ball! There’s just so much MUST - testosterone- in the air when those guys
are here. Town was packed.

I love watching Bears eat! They don’t priss around with a little
nibble of bread slightly dipped in olive oil lightly dripped on a
plate. They take the whole stick of bread and pour the olive oil
straight onto the bread before they take a big bite. Ha, ha, ha

I’ve been with the same man for thirty years, (Everybody say, “Hi
Dave”. Hi Dave, the crowd responds looking hungirrrrly at Dave) … The same man
for thirty years, but I have a rich fantasy life. In fact, when you
guys come to town, it’s enough fodder to keep my marriage going for
another full year! Ha, ha, ha

“So, where are you guys headed now? Oh, the Bonfire at the Outback?
I’ve heard what goes on there! Behind every tree, there’s a Bear
just waiting for you! That’s gonna be my fantasy tonight when I get
home!”

Many of the guys remembered me from my restaurant. They like a big,
pink, hairless … dirty mama bear like me! And they can tell that I
love them too! Oh yeah, and I also looked beautiful!

Love WIld!
Janie